Impossible Goodbyes
by Madge.Ickle.Gurl
Summary: Piper and Phoebe help their baby sister with her grief...but the new demon on the loose is set to make that task much harder. Please read and review :
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Never underestimate the power of grief. After the fall of Utopia and the loss of Kyle, something doesn't seem quite right with Paige. Kyle/Paige moments aplenty, memories, flashbacks and…you'll just have to see…spoilers S.7!

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, I'm just borrowing. No money being made etc, etc…Also some dialogue borrowed from episode:7.07, that funnily enough, doesn't belong to me either…just wanted to add my own little spin.

Authors Note: Well, on this rainy English side of the pond, we're only just getting season 7 of Charmed! Shocking, I hear you all say. So this is my take on the Paige/Kyle dynamic that I've liked sooo much. Hope you all enjoy…

P.S This is my first fanfic, so any feedback or advice would be amazing…even if its to beg me to stop writing…hehe!

Title: Impossible Goodbyes

Chapter 1

The soft light of a single candle cast a hazy beam through the shadows of the dark attic. Silhouetted by the faint glow a solitary figure sat flipping methodically through the Book of Shadows. Absorbed by the large book in front of her, Paige was oblivious to the fact that it had been many hours since the San Francisco sunset had been swallowed by the blackness of the night. Scrunched cross-legged over the heavy book, she squinted through the faint light, adding notes to a pad already covered in copious scribbles.

"Hey there" A soft voice came from the doorway, suddenly distracting Paige from the text.

"Hey" She replied, smiling at her oldest sister who was stood in the doorway. She hadn't heard Piper come in from the club and it suddenly occurred to her how late it actually was, not that sleep had greeted her recently – or so it seemed anyway, she hadn't slept properly since that night – the night that the Avatars had implemented Utopia.

"What-cha doing? It's pretty late" Piper said, mentallyreflecting on her own busy night, unable to stifle a heavy yawn.

"Can't sleep…Think I was a little bit too caffeine-happy this afternoon, y'know. I didn't think that anyone would still be awake"

"Well just as I go to get into bed, your little nephew decided that he was hungry" She moaned, but unable to keep the smile out of her eyes as she talked about baby Chris. The thought had temporarily dissolved Piper's worry at finding Paige alone in the attic so late at night; however that thought immediately sprung back into her mind as quickly as it had left.

"Well, give my gorgeous nephews a big kiss from their Auntie Paige."Paigereplied turning back towards her book, once more poising her pen towards the notepaper with her brows furrowed in renewed concentration.

She stood for a moment in silence, watching her sister resume whatever it was she was intently researching. Piper was perturbed by her sister's demeanour. The events of the last few days had shaken them all up, the dreams of a demon free existence shattered as the true consequences of the Avatars became apparent, and along with the loss of someone else they had come to trust. Her little sister had barely uttered a word about it, and she found this strange, her sisterly instincts suspected that, because of the fiercely caring person that Paige was, she had had strong feelings for Kyle. Even for Paige, as one of the strongest people Piper knew all to well the feelings of love and loss, with Paige there had been no mention of love or loss, no reaction, nothing. And it rattled her.

"Is everything okay with you sweetie?" She asked tentatively. Moving to sit closely beside her baby sister, she grasped some glossy raven hair that had gone rebelliously astray, curling it affectionately around Paige's ears, and finally, clutching her sister's soft palm in her own.

"Sure, yeah – I mean – my research is going pretty well…" She patted the magical book in praise "…categorising the demons into groups according to their powers, weaknesses and stuff. Anyway, it means we should be able to make some generic vanquishing potions, that way we can bottle up big batches and have potions-to-go, and whichever one of these demons wants to attack next can duly get their ass kicked!"

"No…Paige…" Piper began patiently. "…I mean, is everything okay with…you?"

"I'm fine!" Paige smiled sweetly. It would have been more convincing if dark rings of tiredness weren't orbiting her sister's eyes. And there was something else; her chocolate eyes were devoid of their usual sparkle and the playful glint that Piper had come to love so much. Piper knew that _something _wasn't right. She also knew that Paige wouldn't tell until she was ready and being even more stubborn than the average Halliwell, Piper was sure that she would have given Prue a run for her money; she figured that she didn't have much chance of getting her baby sister to tell her anything. Sighed resignedly, she looked towards her sister, "Okay, you dirty stop-up, I'm going to bed…" she said, standing up with reluctance, as worry still occupied her tired mind.

"Alright Sis…Goodnight" Paige replied, still engrossed in her work.

Piper ran her fingers through the soft waves of her sister's hair, before placing a kiss into the dark mop. "Night Paigey" She yawned, turning to leave, feet padding across the floor.

"Paige, honey, promise me that you will _try_ and get some sleep"

"Will do, Sis"

"Paige" Piper said, in her 'big-sister' voice. Along with the narrowed eyes, Paige knew that this meant business and surrendered into compliance.

"'Kay, I'll go to bed when I finish up on this demon - promise"

After Piper had left the attic, tiredness coursed thorough Paige that seemed to flow into her every limb. The words in the book swam in front of her eyes as if on a particularly rough sea. As her eyes became heavy lidded the letters blurred into a pool of ink before disappearing completely into blankness.

"_Feel better?" A faraway voice reverberated through the air, getting nearer, stronger with every syllable._

_It was a familiar voice. So familiar, but it couldn't be?_

_She felt him reach around her, warm breath in her hair, his arm grazing her shoulder sending tingles right down to her fingers, his scent intoxicating. As he flicked through the pages of the book, it was as if she was looking in to his blue eyes for the first time, her wavering trust gained a concrete foundation, and from this moment she knew it would be inextinguishable. _

"_What do you mean?" she felt herself saying. His eyes searched hers, and she found herself floundering under such intense attention. A wry smile appeared at his lips, he was reading her. She hated that. And what she hated even more was that a small part of her liked it, a small part of her that was reassured by his presence, a part that craved security, constancy and love._

"_I assume the book won't let anything evil touch it. Most magical tomes don't. What do I have to do to prove I'm not a threat to you?" Kyle said running his hands anxiously through his dark hair._

**"**_Look, I'm sorry, I am. I can't seem to trust myself right now, let alone anybody else." She replied, feeling slightly guilty that she had had such suspicions. Being charmed, she and her sisters always had to be careful, but Paige was always on her guard – with anyone. It was a legacy of her tumultuous past, and a future that forever seemed to be in peril._

**"**_Well, guardians did more than keep you upright. They're your inner voice, your conscience, instincts. Without them you tend to get a little lost." _

**"**_You really do believe in them, don't you?" Kyle's blue eyes were clear windows into his very soul, and Paige could see the passion, the determination inside of them. _**_"_**_Yeah, I'm a believer, all right. Hunting the new power for years has made me realise that there are some awful things in this world…" He continued sadly. And flicking through the book of shadows, he could see that all the nameless evil had faces, and they were here, all laid bare for him to see._

_I just like to think there are some good things too to balance it out. Like you." Kyle tore his eyes away from the book, locking eyes with Paige. Her smile reached widely across to each cheek, her chocolate eyes absorbing the warmth from his. She wanted to break the distance between them, to touch him. Instead, they basked in each others presence, in mutual understanding, equal attraction and as they both unknowingly hoped: a blossoming love. _

_The eternity lasted only a second, as the book caught her attention, "You've found it."_

Unhappy reality reacquainted itself with Paige as her eyes flickered open. Awakening not only with a burning emptiness in her chest, she found her cheek stuck to a page of the Book of Shadows. Glad that she hadn't dribbled on the family heirloom, she sleepily made her way to her real bed. Inwardly hoping that sleep would greet her once more, hoping that it would give her another precious glimpse…

…of him.


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: Never underestimate the power of grief. After the fall of Utopia and the loss of Kyle, something doesn't seem quite right with Paige. Kyle/Paige moments aplenty, memories, flashbacks and…you'll just have to see…spoilers S.7!

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, I'm just borrowing. No money being made etc, etc…More dialogue borrowed from episode 7:10 but only a teeny-weeny bit, and its not mine :(

Authors Note: Thanks to the reviewers of chapter one...muchly apprieciated. Hope you all like the next installment.

Title: Impossible Goodbyes

Chapter 2

"No sweetie, banana goes in here…" Piper waved the spoon towards Wyatt's mouth. As the small boy waved his fists grumpily in the air the spoon was surrounded in blue lights, when they disappeared the spoon was left, empty of the banana breakfast, "…not…" As Wyatt giggled, Piper looked up again, where there were now three lumps of banana "…on the ceiling…"

Phoebe padded into the kitchen, smiling as she saw her sister and her nephews at the large kitchen table, "Morning Piper" she said, "And!" she said dramatically, sitting between Wyatt's chair and peeking into Chris's bassinet, "How are my favourite nephews?"

"Giving Mommy a hard time" Piper said quietly.

"What?"

"Never mind…"

Phoebe grabbed the jug of orange juice and poured herself a large glass. Lifting it up to take a sip of the refreshing liquid, as the glass reached her cherry lips, her eyes narrowed in confusion. "Where's Paige?"

"Asleep I hope…" Piper joined her sister at the table whilst stirring a large mug of coffee. "After I got home from the club, I found her last night in the attic, researching demons…I'm worried about her Pheebs, she hasn't said a word about anything, the Avatars…" She trailed off, Phoebe knew what she was thinking before she said, "and Kyle"

Before Phoebe could open her mouth to reply, their little sister bounded through the door, and despite the very little sleep she must have had, there was a definite spring in her step.

"Hey guys," She said brightly, although she was smiling widely, her skin looked ashen, her brown eyes dull. Tied at the nape of her neck, her hair fell down her back, and bounded along with her, "It's so pretty out there today – I think I'm going to take a walk downtown to the market – ya know, the potion supplies are getting pretty empty," She chirped enthusiastically.

"Want any Breakfast?" Piper questioned, watching Paige grab her purse.

"Oh. yeah, okay…" sweeping over the table, Paige grabbed a slice of toast, and going to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water which she waved in front of Piper. "Gotta go…Bye Piper" she gave her big sister a kiss on the cheek, "See you later Pheebs, Bye-bye boys" she waved at Wyatt who waved back, this time managing to fling banana without the aid of magic.

Piper threw a significant look at Phoebe as they watched Paige fly out of the door, "See what I mean? Something's not right?"

"I guess, but it could just be her way of coping? You've gotta admit it Piper, she's wouldn't have be the only Halliwell to throw herself into a vanquishing mission after the loss of someone she cared about" Phoebe raised her eyebrows at her sister, who smiled backknowingly.

"It could be, but I'm so sure it's something else – I know our baby sister is strong, independent…"

"Stubborn…" Phoebe added with amusement.

"But our little Paigey has a big heart, she cares about people, and she cared about Kyle – a lot. The girl that just went out of the door, she hasn't mentioned Kyle since…well, you know. You saw her, that's not the Paige that we know. I know she's hurting but she's not grieving, Phoebe…Phoebe"

Piper's words were left floating in the background as Phoebe recalled a still familiar memory.

_Paige stood in front of the mirror, self consciously smoothing down the material of her black dress. The midnight black, against her skin gave it a pearly quality. Her large brown eyes peeking out from the curls that framed her face, and the cherry lips that poked out from under them pulled into a pout of concentration._

_She couldn't help but grin at her little baby sister, looking very grown up. Paige, spying her sister, grinning goofily over her shoulder, swung round and looked at her directly in the eye._

"_For the last time Pheebs, I'm not wearing the green shirt!"_

"_No silly, though, I still stand by the green shirt," Paige could barely suppress the eye-roll, which looked very odd from under her pretty eyelashes, impeccably curled for the occasion. "Here - " Phoebe held out her palm towards Paige, "They'll match the sparkle on your dress"_

"_Thanks Phoebe they're, sooo pretty" Paige was visibly moved by such a regular sisterly gesture, never quite forgetting what it was like to be an only child, alone in the world, she cherished the small things, just as she cherished the sisters who had been brought into her life._

"_S'okay, Paigey" Phoebe enthusiastically enveloped her sister in a huge hug._

"_Uh. Phweebs. Nwed. Swum. Awair." As her sister let her go she took in a huge gulp of much needed air, "Alright, Huggy bear, go smudge make up somewhere else. You're making me more nervous than I am already. And I got more than butterflies swimming around in here" Paige unnecessarily fiddled with her dress again. Phoebe found her nervousness adorable, it was almost teenage, first date nervousness. How Phoebe wished that she knew that she'd been a big sister then, to have been there with Paige through all of her milestones, and it left a small ache in her stomach._

"_Sweetie, stop fiddling already, you look beautiful…and happy" And it was true, Phoebe could almost see the glow in her sister's eyes. _

"_Ooh I'm happy, I feel…" Paige blushed, as Phoebe began to giggle, but her smile faltered, "It's just…"_

"_I know, honey, but I think this is gonna work out…because it's too good for it not to."_

"_You think so?" Paige asked in surprise, it wasn't long ago that her older sister looked on Kyle with suspicion. Wow. If Phoebe had changed her mind about him, it had to be a very good omen for her and Kyle, the rush of butterflies suddenly got much more intense._

_Phoebe smiled, taking her sister's hand. "Yes. Yes I do." _

"_Pheebs, can I tell you a secret?" Paige said shyly, a nervous expression crossing her face she knew that she felt this, but saying it out loud was a different thing altogether. _

"_Yea?" _

"_I think so too." Phoebe saw her sister, beam with happiness, feeling the warmth and happiness that radiated from her whole being. _

"Phoebe…Phoebe…" Piper screeched worriedly, only quietening when she saw her sister return from her daydream. "Woah there sister, how's it going up there on planet Pheebs?" Registering the solemn expression on Phoebe's face Piper's own face darkened with seriousness, "Oh god, it wasn't a premonition was it?" Things had been quiet on the demon front since the Avatars and as much as Piper knew it would be short-lived relief, she awaited the next demon with dread.

Seeing her little sister shake her head she let out a visible sigh of relief, but Phoebe's pretty features were fixed with concern and realisation, "Piper you are so right …"

The kitchen fell into anxious silence but for Wyatt's babble and Chris's gurgles. Piper watched the contents of her coffee intently, chewing on her bottom lip whilst Phoebe fiddled with everything within arms reach until she was unable to bear the silence anymore.

"So what are we going to do then?"

Piper sighed, "What we always do."

"Be sisters?"

"Yeah, sisters…" Piper trailed off. She had a strong suspicion that this particular problem would only have a magical solution. So much for trying to have a normal life, normal emotions she thought as she said to Phoebe, "…with a spell."

"A spell?"

"Yea, Pheebs – think about when this all started, after we got our normal world back. Between the Avatars and everything else that was a lot of magical power floating about, and you know as well as I do that anything can happen. I think something has affected our little Paigey…Look, I'll go get the book and we can start looking, keep an eye on Mr Mischief and his little sidekick for me."

As Piper rose quickly from the table, heading to the attic, Phoebe's face screwed up in confusion. _Mr Mischief? _she thought. Watching Wyatt's angelic grin surface from under his baby blue eyes she smiled at the antics of her adorable nephew. Phoebe felt a strange sensation on her forehead, a sticky, damp feeling, accompanied by the smell of banana? Wyatt let out a delighted giggle. Phoebe followed her nephew's gaze to the ceiling.

"Mr Mischeif!" She rolled her eyes in realisation as some of the yellow gunk dripped onto her nose. "Wyatt Matthew Halliwell…"

A/N: Thanks for reading, and if you like it, please leave a review :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I disclaim...no characters belonging to me!

Impossible Goodbyes

Chapter 3

It was hours since Phoebe and Piper had heard the tell-tale click of the door-lock signalling Paige's return from her morning errand. They had expected the same jovial sister, who appeared at the breakfast table, but the hope was far from reality. On her return, Paige had retreated to her bedroom, locked the door and had been neither seen nor heard from for the remainder of the day. The sky was dusky purple now, the manor sleepy and peaceful but for the air of tension emanating thickly from the kitchen.

"Piper, please – sit down" Phoebe pleaded. Her sister had been pacing for hours, in the same manner: arms crossed, with the same pre-occupied expression darkening her pretty features. Seeing the concern in Phoebe's expression, she flopped heavily down into a dining chair.

"I can't Pheebs" Piper was at a loss, she felt that as the eldest sister, she should be able to figure out what to do. _Its what Prue would have done,_ she considered despairingly. It was the example that her older sister had set for her and Piper fully intended on following it to the letter, but with Paige, it appeared that she was failing miserably.

"Right, that's it." Piper slammed her palms onto the mahogany table and sprung up, as if she had just been wound tightly.

"Piper…" Phoebe began, but before she got to finish, her sister had exited in the room in a flash, leaving Phoebe bewildered as she heard her oldest sister rush into the hallway, then clunking heavily up the stairs. As the sound of hollow banging could be heard through the ceiling, Phoebe rushed up the gallery staircase fully expecting to take on a peacekeeping mission.

"Paige! Come on, You've got two choices, you either walk, orb your ass out here, open the door or I'll have _Leo_ orb me in there – be it a sisterly invasion of privacy or not!"

Before her knuckles reached the wooden door again, a burst of blue orbs materialised I front of her. "Paige…" Piper began, fully expecting her little sister to have come to her senses. Only once the orbs disappeared she sawit was Leo, andnot Paige who stood before her.

"Figures" Piper muttered. She wasforgetting the legendary Halliwell stubbornness that, unfortunately, Paige had in abundance. Of course it wasn't going to be Paige doing what she was told.

Leo cast a worried look at his wife, "You called, is something wrong?"

"No and possibly yes - " Boy, did frustration make her cryptic.

A mask of confusion replaced the worry on Leo's face, "Well if there's not something wrong now, I guess having a new demon on the loose remedies that situation."

"There's a new demon? Piper, what's going on? How's our baby sister doing?" Phoebe caught up with her sister on the landing, almost knocking off one of the portraits, catching on midway through the impromptu meeting.

"Whoa, one at a time" Piper's hands fluttered, as if trying to swat the problems away. "Leo?"

"Your powers are tied to your emotions, well that goes for most magical beings actually - " At the anxious looks emanating from the faces of Piper and Phoebe he eliminated the details he usually added whether useful or not. Sometimes he couldn't help his almost encyclopaedic knowledge of magic from spilling out. "Anyway, Sentimus - gains power, by destroying the emotional attachment between the power and the being – he's attacked several witches, all alive – but has left them as emotionless hollow shells – living breathing, but not feeling…"

"but Paige?" Phoebe muttered quietly breaking them all out of their grim pondering of the emotion-grasping demon.

"Yes, Paige…" Piper refocused after the demonic distraction, "c'mon, sisterly now, kick demon butt later"

"What's wrong with our baby sister?"

"I don't know Pheebs, but I'm gonna make sure that I find out" Piper's brown eyes shone with determination. She raised her small fist quickly towards the door, ready to knock. Before she had the chance she was interrupted by a small voice from the inside of the door, "Lock" along with the feint jingle of orbs from the inside.

Both sisters were startled by the unexpected response; not knowing what to do Piper stood dumfounded for a moment. Phoebe however rushed into the bedroom of her little sister, a concerned sister reflex suddenly kicking into action.

"Oh! – Paige!" Phoebe exclaimed in distress. With good reason, in the middle of the large bed, buried under the messy duvet and a mountain of pillows was their younger sister. Her dark hair was splayed out in all directions like a wild mane, her chocolate eyes were wide, and fixed on the ceiling. Her knees were curled towards her chest, hands clasping an object that her elder sister's couldn't make out from under the swathes of sheets and crumpled clothing.

"Paige, what's the matter honey? Please tell us, we're worried about you."

Sitting up between her sisters the glittered flakes swirled stormily inside the snow globe. Paige absentmindedly cradled the heavy object in her hands, the glass felt smooth and cool to her touch, she found that she couldn't watch the flakes settle serenely onto the wintry scene that was suspended inside the glass dome. Her own pain wasn't about to settle as easily as the snowflakes; the snow globe only reminded her of one thing…

_Her heavy eyelids blinked open and were met with the blissful morning light, and the delightful sensation of another sleeping peacefully next to her. She felt his arm draped lightly across her stomach and his steady breath warming the top of her head. Whilst basking in his warmth, she was distracted by the beautiful object that glistened in the sunlight which poured through the window._

_A snow-globe._

_As her sleepy haze evaporated, it became apparent that the object was a pretty snow-scene entombed by a glass ball. As the flakes swirled inside the wintry world, it was so captivating, that Paige reached out to touch the glass._

"_Hey" Kyle said thickly, through sleep._

"_Hi yourself" She began to purr back. Savouring the contact with his skin as she twisted in his arms and met his lips for a kiss._

_Kyle woke slowly, and finding Paige looking straight into his clear eyes turned his sleepy smile into helpless grin. Paige found that she could stare into the blue pools forever, easily getting lost in his eyes and in him. She placed her lips lightly on his chin and snuggled further into his warm embrace._

"_You like the snowglobe?" Kyle stretched lazily, his hand falling softly to stroke the curve of her shoulder._

"_Yeah, its really pretty, y'know how real winter should be, snowy and cold. A real scarf, hat and glove time of year. San Francisco is a real downer for that sort of thing"_

_Kyle chuckled throatily, drawing both arms around Paige, now, finding the soft skin of her stomach. "Well, when I was seven, my parents and I had Christmas in New York. I had a real snowy Christmas, and it was beautiful…" He said, tracing patterns idly on her skin. "I got that for Christmas and I was fascinated by it, even more than my Rubik's cube" he let out a heavy breath._

"_What, baby?" Paige sat up on her elbow, cupping his cheek, turning it towards her._

"…_that Christmas, in New York, I mean, was the last Christmas that I had with my parents" he paused heavily, "…they were dead before the New Year." he finished sadly._

"_Oh Kyle – I…" Paige began… Seeing tears pooling in the corners that he was too stubborn to let fall, she reached up and started to brush them away, "Baby…it's okay" she soothed. Paige fully understood of course what it was like to lose ones parents. What it was like to be an orphan, and she wouldn't wish it on anyone else in the whole world._

"_It's okay" She muttered winding her other hand with this. They laid like this, cocooned in comfort and understanding, in understanding of love and loss…two souls that experienced too much of the latter, tentatively seeking the former in each other._

It reminded her of Kyle.

Loss had won over chance of love again; realisation surged through her. He was gone.

Her insides began to scream.

"He's gone…Piper…gone. I tried to ignore it, to pretend that it wasn't true. And you know what?" Paige spat angrily and her frustration spilled out across her pale cheeks, "I can't, everywhere I go I can feel him, when I know that, that…" Finding herself unable to look at the glass ball, or her sisters, she slumped forward over her knees, "he's gone"

"Hey, Missy Paige, it gonna be alright" Phoebe said, in as bright a tone as she could muster given the situation, but she too needed the assurance of her big sister "right Piper?"

As two pairs of big brown eyes made their respective pleas, Piper felt the responsibility of being the big sister weighed heavily on her shoulders. This wasn't the first time of course, but it reminded her that she needed to stay strong, for her little sisters, for all of them. How had Prue always known how to do this, to stay strong for them…lately Piper had pondered this more and more, and she needed to know, especially with her little sister like this.

Wrapping her arms around her baby sister, Piper had never seen her in such a vulnerable state.

Pain overwhelmed her features. Piper no longer thought that this was a magical malady. It was purely human; raw, complex and ultimately more destructive. And she could see it all, flickering stormily in Paige's brown eyes.

The soothing nonsense that she was whispering in her ear was making little difference to her trembling form. Paige curled up tightly; knees against her chest, more fragile and raw than she had ever let her sisters see her. Gradually her crying ceased, subsiding as Paige began to hiccup sobs. Piper and Phoebe tried to comfort and sooth them into silence. Eventually they succeeded, Paige's head lolled onto Phoebe's shoulder, eyes closed, in a comforting sleep.

Piper caught Phoebe gaze, wide eyed and worried, "How could we not know?" And a look of shame crossed her features.

"I know Pheebs…but now…" She ran her hands through Paige's soft hair, "We will do all we can, when she wakes, we better do some research on this new demon about town, innocents still need a-savin' "

"But?" Phoebe protested, although Paige's head was pinned to her shoulder, there was no way that she wanted to leave her little sister tonight even if she was asleep.

Looking over her sisters she knew that they needed to stay here with Paige "I'll bring the book down here, okay?"

"Okay"

"Okay" Piper repeated, getting up, trying to quash the feeling of unease that something had only just begun.


End file.
